Tag Archives: friends

Floating tent

We are doing it again, camping over Easter. But rather than a cabin like 2011, we are roughing it in a tent. As soon as Jason said we should go somewhere economical this Easter, I knew what he was thinking. Oh help me. Claire is not coming but the other two kids are, under duress.

The kids are coming because we told them they had to. I might have told them if they don’t make a fuss and come, they can get a day off school for the Easter Show next week. As an aside, I really wish the Easter Show in Sydney was during the school holidays. I know it’s supposed to be around Easter but can’t someone fix the calendar, moon, dates or whatever?

I realise a bribe isn’t a good thing to do but I think we all need a holiday. Sure we have our Bali holiday in May but we need a break now. School has been busy for the kids, in particular for Makeyla starting high school. Both bathrooms being renovated. Work for Jason and I has been hectic of late and we were snubbed by friends recently. We loosely spoke about camping with one of Jamie’s rugby friend’s family who we have holidayed with before but they decided to go camping with another couple. Jason feels we were dropped for another family who is more, well, popular. I say their loss.

tent_camping

I can understand and share the kids’ concern about camping in tents. I have the battle camping scars from previous camping holidays as a kid or when we were newlyweds. One particular holiday stands out in my memory.

Jason and I had gone through a rough patch financially and friends suggested we should go on a holiday camping with them. Our Claire was aged around 5 at the time and our other ones were not born yet. It was up on the North Coast. We battled exiting Sydney traffic on the way up the coast and expected a warm week. I was suffering a bad case of sunburn on my face and then the weather turned one afternoon.

Claire was asleep and being a little more relaxed by this time in our holiday I decided I wanted a few extra wines one afternoon. It was raining and we had our tent and our friend’s set up with a huge tarp in between. Lots of wine, talk, laughter with everyone teasing me about my pash rash. My sunburnt face by this time had started to peel on my chin. It was red and sore. I have no idea what time it was when I staggered to bed. It kept raining.

It felt like I was only asleep for a short time when I felt my arm being tugged. It was Claire, saying we were floating. I told her to go back to sleep. My head ached by that stage from too much wine, my face hurt and skin was flaking off. Jason was dead to the world. Claire kept getting louder and louder saying we were floating. I put my arm out and it fell into wetness. I fumbled around for the torch and flicked it around our tent. We had about two inches of water in our tent. And all sorts of things were floating around the tent. By this stage I could hear other people waking in their tents. Lots of noise, tents unzipping and people swishing around in the water surrounding them. It was still raining.

Jason finally woke and in his daze stomped on my foot. In one swoop I picked up Claire swore about my foot and stumbled outside. The water level looked to be rising. My head throbbed, my foot throbbed and I felt sick. I was yelling orders to Jason who was still stumbling around in the tent trying to get clothes on. It must have been about 3am.

I must have looked a stunner. My hair long at the time was a mess, I noticed it in a reflection later after I staggered up the camp site hill to higher ground. I must have looked just stunning. My hair, hopping around with a child in my arms, my peeling and red chin with my head hung so low with a painful headache. An older lady who we befriended earlier in the week with her little dog came to our rescue was in a caravan up on the campsite hill. Here she said, let me look after your daughter in our caravan and out of the rain. Did I say it was still raining?  The older lady’s husband came back down the hill to help us quickly pack up our belongings that had started to float away.

When we had put all of our stuff in piles under one of the campsite colas, we both fell back onto our soggy camp beds and slept for a few hours, leaving Claire with the older couple. Can’t remember their names but they were just lovely. We decided later the next day when the weather was not improving to go home early.

So let’s hope with our little holiday this Easter we don’t have massive flooding, the kids have a good time and I don’t get sunburnt.

What are you doing for your Easter? Do you have a camping horror story?

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Filed under Easter, Friends, Holiday, Kids

She’s growing up

Sticking to one set of age-based allowance rules when raising children was what I said I’d follow with our kids. On the most part this has occurred but it is has been difficult with our youngest daughter Makeyla.

My eldest daughter Claire now in her early 20s wasn’t allowed to get certain fashion items, wear make up, wear mini skirts, have boyfriends over or go out with her friends until certain age milestones. Or when she could prove to us she was mature enough.

So that meant she didn’t get small shoe heels until she was in year 6 at school. She didn’t get boob tubes until she had something to keep the rotten things up. Had to wait until she was 11 before getting her ears pierced etc. She didn’t get a mobile phone until she was in year 10 at high school. For the mobile phone that was mainly because phones and plans were expensive then.

Muddy waters

Makeyla who is in year 6 at high school wants a mobile phone, like now. It is all because her friends have mobile phones. Her friends are allowed out to 10pm, her friends are allowed to wear make up, allowed to do this and that. They all seem to be doing things earlier than my age-based allowance rules. So I feel like I’m an old fart parent who won’t allow my daughter to do ANYTHING.

Makeyla has for many years been my little princess. I always thought she was a little immature. That could be in part because she is our youngest child and I have well, kind of clung on her being the baby in the family. She loved her ballet but gave up last year because the girls at school teased her. She wants to spend more time with friends and less with us. I am sad and have to accept she is growing up.

Watching the Puberty Blues mini series on TV recently made me realise that the story of girls growing up with angst has always been there. I always thought the protagonists were 16-17years old until someone told me recently the girls are supposed to be 13.  My daughter is 13. Eeek!

Then a few months back Makeyla was caught shop lifting with her friends. Luckily the police weren’t called. That experience awakened me to the fact my little daughter was no longer a child.  Weeks later when we discussed why she did it, given that she had the money to buy the clothes. Was she wanting to be accepted by her peers. Doing something risky, something that would challenge her and give her cred.

We have had lots of discussions since then. I have suggested to her to come to me if she wants to talk about thing. Or to talk to her older sister. She has asked me about sex in round about ways. I have to refrain from telling her what she should do but offering her options. Claire said she has been answering questions too. I hope our recent open and candid conversations continue and I hope she will become a balanced young woman. So it was heartening when Claire told me that she only wishes she was as balanced as her little sister when she was that young. So I have hope.

If you were 13 again what tips would you give yourself? Would you give those same tips to your 13 year old daughter too?

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Filed under Friends, Kids, Old, Parents, School

Kept secret

Friends come and go in our lives. Sometimes they slip away unnoticed for months till it seems it is too late to contact them, so you don’t. Friends can have mutual parting and later a mutual finds. I wrote about an old school friend I caught up with recently. Some friends break away in trying circumstances, like a girl breaking up with a boyfriend. A fight or an occurrence that you can’t forgive.  Secrets are told and secrets leaked. One secret kept for years and the friendship that breaks because of it.

Recently my husband has parted with a friend he had since uni days. Jason is cut up about losing this friend. They have been close for years. They don’t work in the same industries or have a whole lot in common but a close friendship. George (not his real name) had a thing for me at uni. He had made passes at me which I brushed off because I was with Jason. Years later one New Years Eve when Claire was about 8 years he propositioned me in the kitchen. I may have been flirting with him, it was New Year’s Eve but everyone was that night. His pregnant wife Jill (not her real name either) was in the other room oblivious to her husband’s groping hands and the kiss he was trying to plant on me. I squirmed away and never flirted again.

Anyway, George and Jill had two kids, a nice house, cars and holidays every few years overseas. We got on with them well and would even go away on holidays together. George never made any further passes at me. I felt comfortable in their company. It could have been about 8/9 years or so ago we noticed George was a little absent minded. We thought it might have just been something minor. Jill his wife was fine, till about two years ago when she started drinking a fair bit more than any of us at BBQs and get togethers. We didn’t think much of it at the time, but in retrospect it was a sign their relationship was not good.

Clowns laughing

Jill got a surprise visit at home one day when George and the kids were at work and school. Anna, a 30+ woman introduced herself as her husband’s mistress of 8 years.  Anna thought she should tell Jill that she existed and that her husband had recently broken up with her. The long and the short of it. Anna wanted to have kids herself and put the hard word on George to leave his wife. George refused and said their relationship was over. Anna thought he should not get away it all and that was the point of the visit. When confronted George said he was tired of it all and left Jill and the kids. He has filed for a divorce and moved interstate. He wants nothing to do with Anna either.  We are devastated for Jill and their kids are not taking it well, as you can expect. Their dad had a double life visiting his mistress for over 8 years. He had excuses for years about his family time absences, normally due to work commitments. He even went interstate with the mistress on holidays. Clearly, George is having his mid life crisis.

Jason is of two minds. Should he pursue his friendship with George and just forgive what he has done to his family? Or should he cut the ties? I think Jason also feels hurt that he did not guess that the affair was happening. He feels he has been deceived too.

At this point we are helping Jill and the kids where we can. We don’t live too far apart so we have had them over our place a bit. Our kids play well and it is good for their morale to have some fun and games. Jill has asked us and Jason in particular if he knew her husband was having an affair. She is surprised that she did not guess nor did Jason know it was happening. But looking back there were signs, it was just that we did not pick up on them.

Christmas a time of family togetherness will be interesting for them this year.

Had we had known about the affair what would we have done? I am not sure. If you found out your friend was having an affair, what would you do? Tell the partner?

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Filed under Christmas, Friends, Husband, Kids